silences
if you could plug your earphones in and turn up the volume
to hear nothing but
the crackles of static and interference
i think we might just be able to forgive your
cracking lacking soul
to get some body
some other body
somebody
to fill the aching gaping void left by yours
when it went gone broke kaput away
there may be some freedom from that evil which seems to posess you
all of a sudden it takes you over you become
demonic otherworldly and detatched
almost as if your brain has
partied the nights away with friends of a sort
who provide and don’t provide
and take and take and take
until there were no more drinks on the table to drink
no more thoughts on the table to think
and you wake up
with rotten vomit stains trickling thoughts from a tenth floor window
singing love songs about death
and hate songs about beauty
and poetry and hearts and flowers and razorblades
and they wonder why it goes so horribly wrong
they gander their gooses upon the people who
flutter their eyes under blacklight skies
as their only hope flies away into the night
with a bottle of cheap sparkling wine
a sombrero
and all your hopes and dreams and fears
and quivers and shivers and
nothing beats the cold night in the dawn light
like being told of who you are
and what you should be
and that i am you
and
that you
are me
only for you to wordfully scream out
papercut lies to a blank english literature exam
when you should have been thinking of black cars and green cars and white cars
speeding through the night to fight
for something that never existed
and a freebird who was never understood
once they took the reins they
reigned and ruled above all and forced it down into a fool
that everything was fine
everything was okay
do not panic calm not manic
when in fact the opposites were found burying heads in shoulders
with wet eyes and drying mortices and cold arms
freshly painted with another night’s misadventures
taken so much from one thing given so much to one thing
that one thing
never took or gave anything but
confusion and
spite and
wrong
and
right
and
so
so
achingly right
i wish i could have fully taken the blame
for those mishaps named as my fault
but the truth lies in true lies
as pieces of sliced pie are thrown from the ferry journey into the sea
where you’re still swimming now
i wish with me
up with her
coexisting on the same diet of
fucking with everything before it fucks you back
drinking fucking smoking fucking
shitting your life away
the day you held your breath underwater
falling asleep slowly
before wanting
needing
urging to scream out
to me
to you
to them
to anything that would listen
to let you be
to set you free
so lets just get one thing inordinately crystal clear
she wanted me to be the equal and the opposite but she
took the bones of two hateful people at war
and bound them with the flimsiest of twine
so the resulting broken hope falls apart so easily
rather than setting and mending
and defending with plasters for a cemented join
why not screw it up in tight while you’re there too
you’ll never understand not like that
because you never want to
because you don’t need to
because it will lie as it ever was
with one tiny sphere
sitting in an airy cavern trying to fill it up with themself
and wondering why
why so alone
just this alone one with their thoughts
their mind
their life
in
implicit
explicit
exquisite
silence.
3 Comments